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| Wednesday August 3, 2005 |
| 08.03.05 (9:15 pm) [edit] |
Today, I went to the hospital at around 11 am, expecting great things, and got not so great things. I walked in and Martha was still there, and she was supposed to have left by 11, and John was laying in bed, and looked so small. His stats looked... OMG his heart rate was 1149! I said what happened? They told me he was just laying there calm breathing with his T thingy(he used it yesterday, it's to help wean off the vent, and is actually just oxygen, so he is really breathing on his own) and his heart rate and blood pressure just shot up. They gave him medicine and the blood pressure looked better, but his breathing was a little fast, and they couldn't get his heart rate back down. Martha had to go for awhile, and would be back. I talked to John, who seemed to know me, and tried to help him calm down, but his heart rate, just couldn't be budged. His breathing would get fast, so I bribed him with ice chips, and he would slow it down, then it would speed up again. Finally, they put him back on the vent, but he had been off it for over 6 hours. They told me they were going to shock him back into Sinus rhythm from Sinus tachycardia, using the dephibulator. They gave him some Propofol, the same drug used to sedate him before. When I was allowed back in, his heart rate was down to 84, and he was sleeping. It worked and everything looked great. His parents came, and John slept most of the day.
As he woke it was apparent, he didn't know me, or remember he had had the transplant again. I told his mom, this was beginning to feel like that movie, "50 First Dates", to me, and everyday I tell him about 50 times that he had a lung transplant and can breathe. His mom left at 7pm. John didn't know he was in a hospital, and tried to get his legs over the rail, got one over actually, and was trying the second, and wanted to go home. His blood pressure shot up again, and the nurse told me to "why don't you try to stop touching him and sit down?". So I sat. and watched his blood pressure go to 220. and asked if they were going to give him anything.. and she said, "yes, i just don't want to climb". I said what? and she said, "I guess I just don't want to climb over you, so i'm waiting". I jumped up and moved to the other side of the bed and said, "So instead of asking me to move, your not giving him medicine? I'll move. I'll move to the other chair, Ill move to the other room, I'll move to my house, if you just take care of him!". Yes, I was a little upset. He calmed down. I sat with him, he still was agitated whenever he woke up. The docter came in, and tried to convince me to go home. right. I told John again he had his transplant, due to him breathing at about 40 breaths in stead of the normal 15-30, and his blood pressure rising. He shook his head no. The nurse wouldn't tell him and said she didn't think he needed to know, that it would probably just upset him more.
At around midnight, I realized he was asking me something, after the nurse had given him some antibiotics, and he got upset for a minute. I explained he didn't have an infection, but it was for his new lungs. He thought about it. Then shook his head, ok. I told him,I was going to have to go home soon and check on the kids, and he shook his head yes. I said do you know who I am? he said yes, and I said you know where you are at? he said yes, I said hospital? (earlier he had said no)this time he said yes, I said you've had your transplant? he said yes. I waited.. the nurse came in and cleaned the trache, he was calm, and she cleaned his mouth, he was calm. hmmm. I told him I had to go, not to be upset, and he indicated I should, he wouldn't be upset. He gave me his kiss.... and I said I love you, he mouthed, "I love you back". It was John. He has never said I love you too, it's always been i love you back.
On the way home I realized, it had been between 9 and 10 hours, each day, that after they had turned off the Propofol he had suddenly turned from special Johnny(Josh's name for him"to real Johnny. Why didn't the hospital nurses, or docters warn us? or something.. I'm looking this up. Well, it seems its a general anesthetic, and you shouldn't do any driving for 24 hours. Well, he will not be doing that. We shall see about tomorrow.
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