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Thursday, April 22, 2004
04.21.04 (10:38 pm)   [edit]
I have decided to keep this blog for several reasons. The first is john and I can't really tell relatives or friends about his condition because we really don't have a diagnosis that is rock solid. Since we still have hope that it is only scarring of the lungs, we don't want to scare anyone. Of course the two youngest children know, mainly because I couldn't stop crying. We are both still in the shock and awe stage. It doesn't seem real, but if I let myself think about him for more then a few seconds, then I get emotional.
I of course still hope that this is scarring from an incident that happened 12 years ago. It seems that john was having breathing problems and was diagnosed with asthma at 28 years old. He didn't have it before then, and it seems he didn't have it when I met him at 30. Since this seems odd to me, I hope it is the reason they see the scars on his lungs. The doctors are going to try and look at the xrays from this incident and compare them with recent ones. This could prove to be a long term thing. Pray that it is....[LINE]

[line]
John in May of 2005




[LINE]
 
Wednesday, April 20, 2004
04.21.04 (10:29 am)   [edit]
************************* ***
Benefiting JOHN NICOL.
************************* ***
*BASKET RAFFLE @ BASLER*
The employees of Basler(John's employer), in Highland, will hold a special raffle for John. The drawing wll be held the 12th of August.
For info please contact Liz. lizzie@hometel.com
Thank you to the Basler employees.
So far these are the baskets for the Basket Raffle being held there:

#1 $100.00 Cash
#2 $100.00 Gift Card to Wal Mart
#3 Back To School Basket
#4 Bath Basket and Wal Mart Gift Card
#5 Weber BBQ Grill plus Utensils
#6 Fishing Basket
#7 Energizer Outfitter Big Flashlight
#8 Mens Tools and Toys Basket
#9 4 Cardinals Baseball Tickets-Monday Sept. 12th vs. Pirates 7:10 pm ($36 each-value)
#10 $100.00 Gift Certificate for a Tattoo at Body Treasures in Alton
#11 Golf Basket plus Certificate for cart/18 hole green fees at Oak Brook Golf Course ($200 total value)
#12 4 Circle of Hope Bracelets ($110 value)
#13 Ladies White Gold 3 Stone Diamond Ring ($200 value)
#14 Computer Accessory Basket plus $40.00 photo Certificate at Mr. D’s

************************* ***
*YARD SALE*
info - August 26 & 27 at 100 Joseph Drive in Fairview Heights, Illinois.
************************* ***
*BENEFIT @ VFW*
VFW is going to let us use their hall for the Benefit on Saturday, October 22.
More info on this affair as it comes in.
************************* ***
To help, donate, or for more info please contact to help, contact Kathleen Wiegand, John's cousin. kmwiegand@prodigy.net or myself cat@cathyland.net
************************* ***[line]

John and Cathy
Cathyland.net


[LINE]
[b] It has been 36 hours since I recieved the news. It seems so unreal.
John told me at school, on my break, and freaked me out so much I had to leave with him. It seems the lung doctor says he probably has IPF.
[LINE]HE"S ONLY 40!
[LINE]
IPF seems to be a pulmanary fibrosis that they don't know why he has.
Let's start at the beginning.
John and I met 10 years ago and have been together ever since. We are soul mates. I know what he's thinking and he knows what I'm thinking. We finish each other's sentences. We hardly ever fight, and when we do, neither one of us can function properly. We belong together. Forever.
John had a heart attack in January of 2004. It was not unexpected as his father has heart desease and his grandfathers both died of it. But I wasn't really worried, and he recieved a stint and he has heart desease, and is on all sorts of medications. He had quit smoking last year and hasn't had anything to drink in 7 years and we have been working out for an hour a day for 5 days a week, for the last 6 months. Relatively healthy.
There was something strange when he was in the hospital they thought he was in there for pnemonia and not a heart attack.....So they gave him anibiotics. Of course he was having a heart attack and didn't have pnemonia. A lung specialist from Washington University came and did a couple of tests and told John that he had scar tissue in his lungs, and further tests would be needed. Well he recieved those tests on Monday. The diagnosis was that he probably has IPF, but the doctor wants to do a biopsy to be sure, because there has been no change since January and there is a small chance that it may be just scar tissue. The doctor can't do the biopsy for about 4 months because John is on heart medication and it needs to be coordinated with his heart doctor so he can be off of several of the medications.
IPF is a lung desease that slowly causes death in 4 to 6 year from diagnosis.
So we have to wait until around August to know anything for sure.
Waiting is going to be very difficult. I have of course cried for 24 hours already. I can't even listen to certain music without breaking down. Looking at him or hearing something could make me cry. I am crying for him and for reasons such as this illness is not only terminal, but you slowly sufficate. But I am also crying for me, because I can't be without him. How can I? I keep hearing that song in my head by Michael Bolton. Please let this not be real.[/b]